I know that scleroderma is affecting my muscles, but Sunday was an unusually weak day for me. Thankfully, there is no pain associated with it. Jesus was sweetly near during worship, and my family is so accommodating and helpful. Thank-you, God, for a lightweight wheelchair ( a gift from a dear friend) and people graciously and patiently willing to push me around!
I have been restless in my soul and not able to figure out what I was restless about. God directed my thoughts to my yearnings for food. For several months I have been subconsciously looking forward to the next time I would be able to eat, and basing my happiness around that. Wow. Is that idolatry or what! "Comfort food" - He wants me to get my comfort from Him, and He is ready and willing to give it when I seek it.
The over-indulgence in food is also making its presence known in my wardrobe. = (
Think Sonny & Cher's old song, "And the Beat Goes On," and substitute the words "And the weight goes on."
So He is tenderly showing me more of the unChristlikeness deep in my heart. This is painful but the end result is peace, because when He takes something away He replaces it with a new and deeper knowledge of Himself. And if He doesn't show it to me, I won't turn away from it and turn toward Him.
Hebrews 12:11 says, "For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but
later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have
been trained by it."
So Jesus and I walk on, hand in hand ("Nevertheless I am continually with You; You hold my right hand." Ps. 73:23) down this path where only He can see what's around the next bend. I'm glad I cannot see it because I would balk at it and question my Lord's wisdom. This way I have only to hold on to Him and know it will all be good.
"Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him,
How I've proved Him o'er and o'er;
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus,
O for grace to trust Him more."