Wednesday, October 5, 2016

Treasures of Darkness

God has directed me, through some things I have been reading, to Is. 45:3.  It has captured my thoughts and I want to know more of it.

"I will give you the treasures of darkness and riches from secret places. so that you may know that I, Yahweh, the God of Israel, call you by your name."

Sometimes when I am at a new level of darkness (for me this means learning that my disease has progressed or having to come face-to-face again with the fact that I really am seriously ill), I am left with nothing to hold on to. My sinful self wants to hold on to hope, which I don't have at that moment, hold on to my husband, who cannot really do anything about my disease, hold on to my other family members, who also cannot improve my physical condition, hold on to food, to music-making, which will be hampered if this disease begins to affect my fingers, etc.  But these are all shifting and fallible - like quicksand.

So, as you can see, God pulls all these props out from under me, and puts me in a place of darkness where there is literally NOTHING I can rely on or stand on - except Him.  I want something else, but He gives me Himself. He reminds me of His love for me, that He calls me by my name - knows ME intimately - and He leads me back to that pasture of His love and comfort.

I find treasures in the darkness, and riches in secret places.  He takes me to places I have not been before, where it's dark, but then He shows me that HE is there.  And there is a sweetness that is hard to describe.

"Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, sweetest name I know.
Fills my every longing, keeps me singing as I go."

The treasures and the riches I find are things I would not have otherwise known, had He not put me in these places.

Yes - I would have it differently if I could. But He knows exactly what is good for me, in the perfect time, in the perfect way - His time and His way.

Oh, precious Lord Jesus, keep showing me more of Yourself. I love You but my love is so weak and so cold compared to what You are worthy of.  Please continue to mold and shape my heart into what it should be.  Whatever methods You choose to use, I submit to Your wisdom, not always willingly, but it is ultimately what I want.

"When darkness veils His lovely face, I rest on His unchanging grace;
In every high and stormy gale, my anchor holds within the veil.
His oath, His covenant, His blood support me in the whelming flood;
When all around my soul gives way, He then is all my hope and stay.
On Christ, the Solid Rock, I stand; all other ground is sinking sand."


  1. What a sweet reminder of Jesus' sufficient grace. Praying for you, dear friend

  2. Joy, the rawness of your words, your honesty, is so beautiful and touching. Why is it so hard for us to love Him as he loves us? I think, because we are in this world and of this world. We have faith in Him, we know He is there, we know He sent His son to die for us, to save us...yet, we are still here. Still living in this world, clinging to people and things of this world. God knows your heart. He knows you love Him and seek Him. He also knows you love David and your children and the gift of music that He blessed you with, even the food that nourishes us and tastes so good. These are all gifts from God. These are all good. Yet, as you said, nothing & no one completes us, comforts us, makes us whole, fills us up or steadys us like He can and will. It seems scary at times...because we seek support and comfort from our earthly gifts and they are not sufficient. This insufficiency is actually a gift too, because it forces us, reminds us, that we must turn to Him, that only He can and will sustain us in our darkest hours. There is much beauty and redemption in suffering. Although we do not want it and we should not seek it, much spiritual growth can come from it...if we allow it.

    Thank you for sharing your journey so openly. It is a blessing to me and all who follow you in it.

    Sincerely, I'll be praying for you.
    Sandy Spaetti